Today I had many thoughts and feelings in me and when it happens I feel like I need to go to the ocean. Ocean is so much bigger than me that being near it brings perspective and peace to my soul.
Yesterday I had a big wave of emotions. I realised that I am so afraid of rejection that I hide every side of me that can be inconvenient even from my closest friends. I was sitting in a cinema with one of my good friends and tears were dropping down my cheeks and I was scared that he’ll see it and will get angry or choose to cut me off. Why didn’t I just lean on my friend and let him comfort me and show my ability to feel so strongly that I can burst into tears just like that because the main character of the film didn’t believe in herself and I don’t believe in myself either. She had someone who said: “Yes, you can” and I don’t have that someone whose opinion matters more than my own and who would say: “Do it” and I would do it. So, here are two lessons I learnt that I seem to have issues with: 1) afraid to be rejected because of the way I am; 2) afraid to not being able to succeed in New York City;
All those feelings were making me dive deep into the darkest thoughts. I even made a list of how people would feel if there was no longer me on this planet. The list of people and how sad they would be was motivating me to find another way, so I went to the ocean and just expressed myself in dance. Never before I didn’t feel cold or tired doing this for half an hour or so. I have few more dramatic images that I will show you later. But here’s a yogi one.
Day 11 for #NothingToProve and a mixture of my expressive dance and Warrior III My body stopped feeling cold that much. It’s getting stronger. Hopefully same goes to my mind
icreatelife_ (Kristina) shared and selected for Photography.